Post by Melon on Oct 21, 2009 17:17:35 GMT -5
Feel free to add on.
"If fictional characters were real, the worls would break down into polygamist cults." ~Melon
Women belong in the house... and the Senate. ~Author Unknown
Nobody will ever win the Battle of the Sexes. There's just too much fraternizing with the enemy. ~Henry Kissinger
Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition. ~Timothy Leary
"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."
"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."
Short funny quotes by, Albert Einstein
"Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die."
"I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals."
"The direct use of force is such a poor solution to any problem, it is generally employed only by small children and large nations."
"The shortest distance between two points is under construction."
"42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot"
"A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory."
"A good essay is 10% inspiration, 15% perspiration, and 75% desperation"
"I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants."
"I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets."
"All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific."
"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
"USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population."
"All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand."
"The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall."
"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes."
"Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic."
"If Thomas Jefferson thought taxation without representation was bad, he should see how it is with representation."
"When I eventually met Mr Right I had no idea that his first name was Always."
"In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft; today, in civilized society, it is called golf."
"Cheese… milk's leap toward immortality."
"An optimist will tell you the glass is half-full; the pessimist, half-empty; and the engineer will tell you the glass is twice the size it needs to be"
"Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together."
"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car"
"If fictional characters were real, the worls would break down into polygamist cults." ~Melon
Women belong in the house... and the Senate. ~Author Unknown
Nobody will ever win the Battle of the Sexes. There's just too much fraternizing with the enemy. ~Henry Kissinger
Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition. ~Timothy Leary
"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."
"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."
Short funny quotes by, Albert Einstein
"Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die."
"I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals."
"The direct use of force is such a poor solution to any problem, it is generally employed only by small children and large nations."
"The shortest distance between two points is under construction."
"42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot"
"A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory."
"A good essay is 10% inspiration, 15% perspiration, and 75% desperation"
"I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants."
"I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets."
"All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific."
"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
"USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population."
"All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand."
"The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall."
"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes."
"Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic."
"If Thomas Jefferson thought taxation without representation was bad, he should see how it is with representation."
"When I eventually met Mr Right I had no idea that his first name was Always."
"In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft; today, in civilized society, it is called golf."
"Cheese… milk's leap toward immortality."
"An optimist will tell you the glass is half-full; the pessimist, half-empty; and the engineer will tell you the glass is twice the size it needs to be"
"Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together."
"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car"
